Yo violists,
My 1st post ever, so i shall attempt to post something more interesting so u don't have to stare at chay choong's random post when u come to the viola blog.
I happened to chance upon this website with jokes about the string instruments and i found it quite funny (damn, the viola jokes are 3 pages long). So i post abt some violin jokes cos viola jokes will make this blog ironic.
Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't get up that high!
Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Why don't viola players suffer from piles (hæmorrhoids)?
Because all the assholes are in the first violin section.
Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instrument?
Violins don't have spit valves.
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
lolz...
Sorry if i'm being random but i feeling very emo nao...
Update:Addition from zy: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.
An edited viola joke:
Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
A: The bow is moving.
A cop was walking down the street, and in front of a theater he came across a strange scene. A tuxedo-clad man was repeatedly kicking another man who was down on the sidewalk.
"'Ere 'ere, wot's all this?" the cop said, or words to that effect.
Tux: Well, see, officer, I'm a violinist.
Cop: So???
Tux: It's like this-- during a break, he came down from the audience and detuned one of my strings!!!
Cop: That's all very well, but I don't see why that entitles you to be kicking this poor gentleman.
Tux, Well, you see officer, he won't tell me which string!
Btw, good luck to all from the viola section for
Sul Ponticello (wtf?), especially for Brandemburg 3rd mvt.
For those who still don't know all their notes (including me), here's a piece of advise (something like a viola motto): Never fear when u can't do something,
just fake it! (sorry, just couldn't help it, must be the after-effects of 3 pages of viola jokes)
wenqi
Labels: Violin jokes
